People Pleasing Is Not Love: Seeing the Truth Beneath the Sacrifice
People pleasing often begins in childhood. Maybe love was conditional—given when you behaved, achieved, or stayed quiet, and withheld when you expressed too much. Maybe you grew up walking on eggshells, learning that peace depended on you disappearing.
Over time, your nervous system encoded a rule: If I meet everyone else’s needs first, I’ll be safe. If I sacrifice myself, I’ll be chosen.
That rule may have kept you safe as a child. But as an adult, it sabotages your relationships.
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