The Lens That Shapes Everything: Seeing Beyond the First Story You Tell Yourself
There are moments in life when it feels like the ground has been pulled out from under us. The diagnosis. The breakup. The betrayal. The loss. In those moments, it’s easy to believe the story is written: This is the end. This is who I am now. This is all there will ever be.
And yet—how many times have you looked back on something that once felt unbearable and realized it became the doorway into something new? How often has what you thought would destroy you ended up shaping you in ways you now wouldn’t trade?
That’s the power of perspective.
👁️The Invisible Lens
Perspective is the silent narrator of your life. It’s the voice that interprets every moment, decides what it means, and predicts what will come next. It doesn’t just color your story—it is your story.
When your lens is clouded with scarcity or fear, everything feels heavier. Small setbacks look like failures. Challenges feel like proof you’re not enough. Joy becomes something distant, reserved for “other people.”
But when the lens shifts—even slightly—the same exact life looks different. Hardship becomes initiation. Setbacks become teachers. Pain becomes part of a larger story of resilience.
📖 The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Think about the last time you caught yourself spiraling. Chances are, the facts of the situation weren’t what crushed you—it was the story you wrapped around them.
They didn’t text me back quickly turned into I’m not important.
I made a mistake at work became I’ll never succeed.
I’m struggling right now transformed into Something must be wrong with me.
We rarely question these stories because they feel so real. But they are just one version of reality—one angle, one lens. When we forget that, we live inside a prison of our own making.
🔍Shifting the Frame
Shifting perspective isn’t about denial or pretending everything is fine. It’s about asking: What else could be true here?
What if that rejection was redirection?
What if that loss is creating space for something not yet visible?
What if this difficulty is evidence of how deeply you’re living, not proof that you’re broken?
Even the smallest shift in perspective can create a ripple that changes how you carry the weight of your life.
✨Reflection Exercises
Take one situation you’re wrestling with right now.
Write the story as your fear tells it. Let every negative belief and worry spill out onto the page. Notice how it feels when you read it back—tight, heavy, maybe hopeless.
Now write the story as your wisdom might tell it. Not by sugarcoating, but by widening the frame. Ask: What might I learn here? How might this be reshaping me? What future possibilities could only exist because of this moment?
Compare the two stories. Same facts. Different perspective. Notice the shift inside your body—the breath, the posture, the energy.
Now take a moment and set a timer for 30 seconds.
Now I want you to look around the room and count all the things in the room that are blue in color, it doesn't matter the shade, just blue. Now say it out loud. How many blue things are there?
Now quick, don’t look. How many yellow things were there?
If blue was sad and yellow was happy, you just counted all the sad things. You could tell me how many sad things you found. You probably could even describe them but you likely couldn't do the same with the yellow (happy) things.
How does this show up in your day to day life?
This is the reminder: when we look only for the negative, we will find it. But when we widen our view, we discover that the story of our life is bigger, more layered, and more alive (and more colorful) than we thought.
✨ Final Thought: Life is never just what happens or what is just there. It’s what happens and what is there—plus the meaning you give it. And the meaning you give it can change everything.
With compassion and curiosity,
Sarah Mugford, LPCC
💭 Share this with someone who needs a perspective shift
Note: This reflection is a tool for improving quality of life. It’s not meant to replace taking action in areas that truly need change—especially in the spaces where you have the energy and capacity to act.